Tales from Halton

Stories and anecdotes from the 69th's time at RAF Halton, between 1951 and 1954. Dates shown refer to when the story appeared in the 69th Association's newsletter.

A look back at the RAF Trades, by Jock (the Bock) Borland - Inst nav/NBS

An Aircraft Apprentice has his parachute harness adjusted by a Flying Instructor standing in front of a De Havilland Chipmunk T.10 aircraft prior to an 'air experience' flight at Halton, 1950-1969. © IWM (RAF-T 1132)The Various Castes of the Soixente Neuf

Aircrew Caste: These were work units of limited intelligence and were used to steer the aircraft of that time, before computers took over entirely. These work units were prone to fall over due to alcohol, believed to be drunk as a precaution against freezing the blood when flying at high altitude. There was a maxim of the time, "Only birds and idiots fly"!

Engine Caste: These work units were usually small, covered in oil and grease and smelled of aviation fuel. They would babble about props (a reference to two of the front three of eight men banging their heads together at a religious ritual called Rugger) and turbines (reference to a type of headgear). If they stayed on long enough in the service, they could end up being plugged into an aircraft with a thing called a headset. This was to transfer energy to them though their ears, which frazzled their brains and gave them the title of "crewchief'!

Crewchiefs were the priesthood of the Servicing Castes.

Crewchiefs were known to ignite if the aircraft was delayed on take off!

Crewchiefs were not much more intelligent than aircrew and some even took positions as aircrew or flew as cargo thus proving their lunacy.

Airframes Caste: About the same intelligence as Engines. Also had a tendency to join aircrew or become crewchiefs.

Once, long ago, airframes were made of wood and fabric and painted with "dope". This led to the expression "you have to be 'dopey' to be airframes"!

In later times when aircraft were made of metal they could be heard walking round the aerodromes (the Temples of the Service) saying "Rivet, rivet, rivet..."! They were reputed to walk by placing both feet together and hopping.

Armourers Caste: These work units were not allowed to mix with other work units. They lived in remote places called bomb dumps and armouries and were avoided as pariahs. When seen, they sat on things with fins on them, which were mounted on trolleys and pulled by tractors. It was not known if they continued to sit on the things with fins when they were dropped from aircraft, but someone had to pull the pin to make the thing with fins explode!

They also stuck pieces of metal into "cannons". This made them adept at a game called billiards, particularly the pocket variety. They were never seen to work, but just strolled around in their bomb dumps and armouries, with hands in their pockets practising "cannons"!

Electricians Caste: These work units were of slightly higher intelligence. Were renowned as chicken farmers and were always on about charging their batteries. According to the chickens, their rents were very high, there wasn't much room and electricians kept stealing the chickens' eggs. On occasion chickens mysteriously disappeared!

Only did any useful work when doing homers by wiring houses. Were a noisy group as they were "wired for sound"! Were famous only by their association with instruments.

Instruments Caste: There were two varieties of these work units, known as the lesser (Gen) and superior (Nav).

Lessers The "lesser's" job was to supply the gas, oxygen, to aircrew. This was to prevent aircrew from deflating (see the passage from the film archives, "Airplane", when oxygen failure caused the pilot to deflate and a brave stewardess saved the day).

Having "lessers" saved carrying stewardesses on combat aircraft! Their secondary purpose was to keep the gunsights in good order as this directed the armourers "cannons" when they played billiards! The lessers were good at carrying the tools of the "superiors".
Superiors The "superiors" were the ones responsible for guiding aircraft and directing the armourers' things with fins to the target. They were not responsible for the armourers sitting on the things with fins! They were good at firing up gyroscopes with 60lbs/sq inch air pressure, then using the gyroscope to knock holes in buildings. This technique was evolved at Halton Instrument workshops and handed down from Entry to Entry. Origin of this practice is lost in antiquity! Some were renowned for using 601bs/sq inch pressure on delicate sylphon bellows.

NBS Caste: These were known as "moonmen" and were usually Instruments superior who became super intelligent after a nine month stay at Yatesbury. There were some who said they also were deranged. Anyone would be deranged after a nine month stay at Yatesbury. Those of truly amazing intelligence were those who were once Boy Entrants prior to becoming an Apprentice and then went on to be NBS. Their main purpose in life was to debrief "bomb aimers" who continually complained if the bombs missed the target by more than 10 cms and "combat readiness" was lost. They also dropped armourers on the target.

Missiles Caste: Little is known about this caste as they seemed to be sent to remote an dangerous places like the Outer Hebrides. The danger in the Outer Hebrides was in coming home a raving alcoholic.